to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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