I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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