when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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