tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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