Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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