You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
