so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
