I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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