I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
