please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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