im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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