he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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