He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
