i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
