i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
