I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
