We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I intend to get homeless drunk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
