Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize