Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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