White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
