My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Shame is for Republicans.
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