I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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