honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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