Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
