Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
