please come you make the beer taste better
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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