hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
