Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
