At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
