is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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