Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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