everyone is single if you try hard enough
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
