After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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