Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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