playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
