i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
