Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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