Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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