Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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