so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
