I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
