It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
