She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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