i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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