i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
