he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
