Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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