Pants 0. Shit 1.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize