gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize