i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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