I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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