She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
