i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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