We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
