I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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