It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
