Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
