We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Me too!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
