can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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