my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
