eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
